In an unprecedented moved, Apple has unveiled its latest marvel of technology. The device has been in beta testing at the highest levels of government since 2007 and has proven to be an invaluable tool. The gadget is simple, small, sleek and can be implanted in a tooth and be invoked as necessary during conversation, interview or stump speech.
The device, the iBlame, is a magnificent mechanism that, when invoked, will prevent arguments, stop cross examinations, obfuscate scorn, and diminish dissent.
Accused of spending too much of the peoples’ money? Turn on the iBlame and people will know it’s the fault of the prior President.
Indicted for being a Marxist? The iBlame will convince the masses that other people deserve the fruits of their labor.
Giving trillions to banks and wall street firms? Activating iBlame will assure the elecorate that the deregulation of the Republicans brought down the economy.
- Don’t want to show your thesis or grades? iBlame conservatives for being stupid hicks.
- Ignoring Fannie Mae during Financial Reform? iBlame Mitch McConnell for protecting wall street
- Selling out US Citizens to the Big Insurance Companies? iBlame John Boehner for standing by the status quo.
- Can’t win the argument against the Tea Party? iBlame them for being racist KKK fronts.
- Made an infantile decision about closing Guantanamo? iBlame the military for freeing Yemeni terrorist redux.
- Not a US Citizen? iBlame bad Hawaiian paperwork.
iBlame Bush for reducing taxes.
iBlame Cheney for getting us into the Iraq war.
iBlame Republicans for everything!
There is one caveat in the use of this contraption — it may only work for a short period of time. The affect of the iBlame has been known to fade in the face of truth and logic.
iBlame is available for only $99.99. But wait!! Order now and you can receive TWO iBlames for the LOW LOW price of $199.98 (plus $16.00 shipping and processing).
Order by calling (202) 456-1414.
Operators are standing by.