With the Meteorologists warning of 40 to 60 inches of snow, the Rockin’ Conservative just got official notice that the Schnuck’s Panic Aisle is now open at all St. Louis and Cape Girardeau area stores.
In what is expected to be a day of heavy panic, St. Louis and Cape Girardeau shoppers can rest easy that their most basic snow-day needs are available for handy purchase at your local Schnuck’s. The Panic Aisle allows for the easy quick sale of Bread, Milk and Eggs in preparation for the imminent Snowtastrophocalypse. A breakfast or lunch of French Toast is a MUST on Snow-Days!
Additional items such as salt, ice melt, snow shovels, sleds, wine, movies, and chicken noodle soup may be found in the Panic Aisle.
Double Coupons if you get there before 6:00am!
Do not ram shopping carts or otherwise injure fellow shoppers!
That is all.